Rediscovering Myself

I’m starting to appreciate the newfound ability to speak my mind and express myself, especially in a society where marriage is highly valued for women and divorce is viewed as a negative thing. As a young woman of South Asian descent, going through a separation or divorce can make you the center of attention for all the wrong reasons. Family gatherings become a breeding ground for gossip and sympathetic looks. Anything that goes against the traditional arranged marriage is often looked down upon and considered taboo.

A few weeks back, someone asked me with emphasis, “What are your thoughts on being alone without a husband?” When I encountered this question, it took me back to the past, forcing me to examine the reasons behind leaving.

I am able to freely express myself in any way I desire. I have the freedom to dress in the clothes that I personally choose without seeking validation from others. To be honest, I am grateful for these precious moments every day, as they are the very things I prayed for when my marriage confined me for the sake of preserving family reputation. Indeed, I am thoroughly relishing my well-deserved liberation from patriarchal subjugation and sexism. I am rediscovering myself in every way possible, and it has proven to be exactly what I needed.

I transformed from being criticized for my flaws to recognizing my value. I transformed from being judged for having high demands and expectations to valuing my needs and surpassing my own expectations. I have embraced the obstacles that life has presented to me. Now, fearlessly, I ask, “what lies ahead?”

In South Asian communities, divorces are often viewed negatively and can lead to feelings of invalidation. However, there is a growing movement of women who are challenging this stigma and advocating for change. Rather than hiding their marital status, they are choosing to speak openly about it and take pride in their life choices.